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Get out of the vicious circle
The victim must stop justifying himself, give up trying to understand what the pervert is saying. You have to put some distance, remain deaf to the calls of the predator who seeks to get closer by showing himself in his best light. It is recommended to talk about it and rely on a third party, a benevolent and neutral person, so rather not the superior of the harasser who may feel called into question,
rather Human Resources, or someone external, occupational physician, therapist or friend. You have to dare to hate, that is to say to express your negative feelings. If they are repressed, they risk leading to denial and turning one's hatred against oneself, thus leading to depression.
Neutralize the snake with its own venom
Claude de Scoraille helps the victim to "regulate the situation and feel strong and vigorous enough to no longer be the fragile gazelle, to seize the weapon presented to him". These weapons are the paradoxical solutions of the Palo Alto school:
■ sabotaging the pleasure of the pervert: the victim tells the pervert that his actions and words make him a better collaborator;
■ reassure the narcissist in another way: she “over-solicit” his authority by asking him for help for small things since she is incompetent while he, “the boss”, knows. She uses her reproaches as a horrifying lever so that he finally wants to put some distance.
COMMENTS COLLECTED BY CHRISTINE CALAIS
