Being able to delimit its scope of responsibility is an essential issue. Central in the learning of "knowing how to say no", it will be worked on in intervention. We used images and cropping. We have seen what a bad yes could lead to, a yes that no longer has any value, that looks more like gravel than diamonds: to being walked on of course....
People who experience this type of difficulty are not comfortable with it. They feel like their value is not recognized.
Setting limits involves a risk of confrontation when you are not trained and you will tend to avoid.
Strategic when the context is not emotional, the three stages defined by Giorgio Nardone correspond to 3 levels of difficulty:
- Being able to say his inability to say yes: "I would like to say yes to you but I cannot". Broken leg for example, or other incapacity that the other can easily hear and/or apprehend,
- Being able to say your priorities: "Right now, I have something more important to do". Sick child, leaving on a mission for example. It's sometimes complicated to say that we have something more important to do than what is asked of us...
- To be able to say: "I could but it does not suit me". It is giving one's position, asserting oneself. It really means "I decide not to do it".
In all cases, the main thing is to favor the relationship and make the other person understand that saying no does not jeopardize the relationship.