Lact - Palo Alto School Representative


Palo Alto School Representative

Center for training, intervention and research

Strategic systemic approach and hypnosis

      Screenshot 2015 05 04 at 14.50.35Gregoire Vitry:

      Maybe we can talk about the subject for which we have planned your intervention which is:

      • people who threaten suicide attempts,
      • people who took action but didn't finish,
      • people who have been affected because they have a loved one who has been affected,

       You wanted to talk about care and also weak signals, a protocol, a way to intervene concerning you.

       Can you tell us about it?

      Teresa Garcia: Yes, absolutely. I had thought about what we were going to talk about and I thought it might be important to be able to give a context as an expert in relational strategy and on the impact of communication in interactions.

      What understanding could I bring to the subject?

       

      For me, there is a big difference between someone who is in the process of making a suicide attempt in a rather characteristic way because effectively, one can make a real failed suicide and on the other hand, one can say that someone someone has attempted suicide but characteristically, a suicide attempt is rather a way for the person to try to have an impact on others or on the other.

      That is to say, she tried to say things but maybe clumsily, maybe she wasn't able to say things but she wanted to have an impact on others, she can't stand it anymore, she wanted to have a some control over what happens to her or in the relationship, for example with the team, with the managers.  

      The only possibility that she sees at a given moment is to make a suicide attempt because there, we stop, we say to ourselves but what is happening? There we listen.

      It's rare that we don't listen and that we move on. It's a bit like someone who is on a hunger strike and who should not be confused with anorexia, someone who can no longer eat and who is incapable and who could even go as far as death is a symptom.

      Me, I connect them more like a call saying that there is something wrong, it's no longer possible, I can't continue.

      At the same time, it is something that is imposed on others, that is to say that it is not a discussion, not a negotiation, it is something that is imposed on others and in which one is obliged to take it into account.

      I tell myself that there, the weak signals can be

      the context where we see a person who is not well and that more and more, he withdraws but we feel that he does not agree on the decision.

      We feel that there is an important change in the way of being or the other, it can be people who continually start to say:

      • "They don't listen to us anymore"
      • “We no longer have the right to”
      • " They are crazy "
      • “They impose things on us”
      • "They don't understand what we're doing."

      All of these things cause the person to become more and more obsessed and psycho-rigid in relation to what they are saying. So, it can be more or less weak, more or less strong signals that show us that the person is becoming hermetic and that she sees us as being hermetic.

      Also, what can lead the person at that time, to make this call, is the fact that they may feel stuck because we can decide at a given moment, in a position or in a job that we are no longer heard, we can no longer give of ourselves, we can no longer do our job well and decide whether to request mobility or leave.

      But people in this situation, equally, they know they can't let go.

      They want to succeed, no matter the conditions, no matter the context or so, they are afraid or they have financial difficulties, they are too terrified to be able to ask for a movement, and they will try at some point to say:

      "That's enough, I can't take it anymore. »

      So it's interesting to say that if someone is making us hear that it's no longer possible to continue, that we can take a moment and say “Ok, maybe, we didn't hear. It's not necessarily that we'll be able to change the whole company to hear you, but tell us what's going on for you? How difficult is it? And what happens on a daily basis for you?

      Come back to allow this person to have the floor, obviously while not promising that we can change anything at that time.

      On the other hand, we can enter into another situation which can be more or less similar to what we were talking about of an attempt to be heard. But here there may be something tinged with anger in which the person is going to hurt themselves to make us feel guilty because they are furious.

      She said, "Since I can't reach you and you don't care that it's a problem for me, I'm going to do something that's not going to leave you cold because I'm going to make you feel so guilty, I'm going to make you feel like you could have killed a human being with the attitude or behavior you have. »

      At this time, she will try to manipulate the situation so that people feel guilty.

      There, obviously, we can say that the importance is to be able to be in an agreement. I hear that you can be furious, not be hermetic, not be closed but at the same time, not giving the impression that if the person acts out, that it goes on forever.

      For example: don't justify yourself, you didn't really have a lot of problems, you were furious because you received a reprimand, you received a sanction at work but there was no death of man,

      there are no problems, so you can continue to operate as before.

      We feel that for the person, it does not pass. Somehow, she's going to say to herself, “I'm going to do something serious so that they realize that it affected me or I'm angry and I'm going to manipulate you. »

      There is another point with which we can make contrasts with respect to what suicide could be; suicide being truly a point of no return, a loss of absolute confidence in my abilities and in the abilities that you could have, that the other people on the team could have, so that one day things could go better for me .

      So at some point, I give up, I no longer believe in it. I think death is the only way out of the disappointment that I have so great, of what I failed to do and you failed to do for me in the business.

      So there, there is a real renunciation, a total inability to project themselves and the person will not be able to imagine that one day they will feel good again, whatever happens. There, the threats are rarer, you have to be careful because they are not necessarily non-existent.

      Often, we think she has suicidal tendencies but she is not going to do it, it is not the case. Sometimes people can threaten by saying, "I'm getting to a point of complete disillusionment of no return and they may not be heard from." Very often, the person has tried to do things and at some point, no longer believes in it, they stop.

      So, when we threaten, I would say that we are still in a kind of belief, that the person can hear us and they could do something about it.

      When we no longer threaten, it is because we are convinced that there is nothing more to do. There is an aspect in which, in threats, in suicide attempts, we try to control situations or control the other and when we commit suicide, we have moved on.

      It is also important to know because sometimes as a HRD or as a manager, we know despite everything that a person has started taking antidepressants, sometimes people say it to each other or "I was not well », « the doctor gave me antidepressants. »

      This is important to know because sometimes, especially the first moments, this can be a much more dangerous phase than acting out because somewhere, the antidepressants will serve a bit like a distancing, trying to make people have a little more blunted emotions.

      So, at that moment too, the ties she may have, the few ties she has left to cling to something even if she no longer believes in it at all, that her suffering will stop. She can still tell herself that my children, my colleagues, my friends, other people could suffer. So, it can keep a possibility of time, in any case, that we can make contact with her.

      Sometimes, antidepressants will also dull the feelings, the bonds they have with others and there may be acting out.

      The person has more energy, fewer bonds, dulled emotions, so it can be dangerous.

      There is one thing that seems very important to me. In the fact of the conception that one can have of suicide or attempted suicide. I wanted to talk to you about the context of the interaction. It is because we are convinced that suicide, despair, sadness, burnout, depression only come from within and from the individual.

      It can be something that leads to much greater moral pain for the person.

      There is a loneliness I think it's the word loneliness that seems to me really essential in characterizing a good part of a suicide attempt and certainly a suicide.

      It can give other options, and simply say that the problem is in the person's story, only in the image they have of themselves, the fact that they have a problem with serotonin, c is what makes her depressed or not.

      As a result, we find ourselves completely isolated, unable to act.

      Often one has the impression that a situation in which a person is in the process of giving weaker, rather strong or increasingly strong opinions concerning their distress, they may already be in the process of manipulation, they are furious, they feels guilty in everything she lives, she cries a lot, she feels bad...

      In this situation, it can feel not only intimidating, of course it is, but also very complicated and time-consuming.

      I think that on the contrary, the real way to train with someone who works in relational strategy, who works with the Palo Alto model, that it's really just an hour, and to be able to really detect everything that has been done, in which way without wanting it, we are closing and jamming the situation instead of opening up if possible.

      Really, there can be a few sentences, a change of postures that can be understood and that power, HR, managers or all three can buy into and that can really change the situation very quickly.

      Sometimes I see solutions, but sometimes we haven't called someone who can be a specialist in relational strategy, saying to ourselves: "the person will need 6 months of coaching", "we will have to help the managers with dozens of and dozens of sessions “we don't have the means”, “it's not our role”.

      Faced with this type of problem for the company, it faces major responsibilities in situations like these, it will have to let things go, it can also be accused of being harassing.

      Faced with this, there really is a way to find a major change in a very short time.

      A team of more than
      50 trainers in France
      and abroad

      of our students satisfied with
      their training year at LACT *

      International partnerships

      The quality certification was issued under
      the following category of actions: Training action

      A team of more than
      50 trainers in France
      and abroad

      of our students satisfied with
      their training year at LACT *

      International partnerships

      The quality certification was issued under
      the following category of actions: Training action

      To safeguard
      User choice for Cookies
      We use cookies to provide you with the best possible services. If you decline the use of these cookies, the website may not function properly.
      accept everything
      Decline all
      Learn more
      Unknown
      Unknown
      Accept
      Decline
      Marketing
      Set of techniques aimed at commercial strategy and in particular market research.
      Google
      Accept
      Decline
      Analytics
      Tools used to analyze navigation data and measure the effectiveness of the website in order to understand how it works.
      Google Analytics
      Accept
      Decline
      Functional
      Tools used to provide functionality to you while you browse, this may include social media features.
      Hotjar
      Accept
      Decline