By Jean-Jacques Wittezaele

We distinguish three logics leading to burnout:

• relationship avoidance
• mind control
• The formation of beliefs

relationship avoidance

We find ourselves in front of a person who is afraid of his superiors or his work colleagues and who therefore will avoid any relationship.

Instead of telling her superiors, for example, that the conditions in which she works are not good, that things should be changed, that she needs help, she will take it upon herself, more and more, and run out.

In this case, it is indeed the fear of confronting that guides the behavior; fear being an emotion, it is useless to seek to reassure this person with ready-made formulas such as “you have to take a step back, there is not only work in life, etc” which are rational, that 'she can easily understand, but which are false solutions. Because, in the context, she is unable to do what is suggested to her. And worse, these suggestions only aggravate his stress and his unhappiness.

In addition, this type of situation generally has an impact on family life because the work becomes invasive.

mind control

We encounter this type of logic in people who, when they are in difficulty, will want to anticipate everything, identify all possible solutions and of course control everything. But they realize that controlling everything perfectly all the time is impossible. And they are exhausted.

These are profiles of employees who do not know how to delegate, who do not trust others and who are de facto isolated.

The formation of beliefs

This third logic can be linked to a project in which someone has invested a lot and which, for example, is not going to be completed.

The interested party says to himself either that he is not competent enough (or not competent at all) or that we are trying to oust him.

He will then behave in such a way that his hierarchy will indeed doubt him.

Can these three logics be combined?

Yes.

We therapists have already treated people who, first in avoidance for fear of saying, of asking, of obtaining opinions or advice, as we have just seen, then began to want to control everything. , went from failure to failure and ultimately founded beliefs in their incompetence.