Faced with repeated incivility on the part of a collaborator, colleague, superior or client, it is better to give up an ineffective moralizing attitude.
In general, the person tends to want to educate the opponent.

La Clinique du Travail (Lact), an intervention and training firm specializing in the regulation of individual or collective disorders and the prevention of psychosocial risks, takes the example of employees prey to the incivilities of customers of an amusement park for which he worked. “Justifying yourself can annoy and make you look guilty; educating means making guilt-ridden morality that triggers anger, frustration and provocation in the consumer, caught at fault and losing face, highlights Claude de Scorraille, President of Lact. In the end, this led to demotivation and psychosocial risks among park employees who adopted a conflict avoidance strategy. »

Going ahead of incivility by preventing any overflow reassures the employee. He stops fearing the threat and learns to be authoritative, to explain the rules differently and to minimize the impact of the incivilities of which he is the object. "You have to remove the doubt to have certainty, to lessen the intensity of the reaction in the uncivil person, to be less subject to his own emotional reaction and to protect himself against malevolence, underlines Olivier Brosseau, Coach, Trainer and Therapist at Lact . There is no one way to work. You have to be able to quickly observe who you have in front of you, especially in the non-verbal attitude, to adapt your attitude and find the right words. Lact's goal is to provide a new corrective emotional experience that leads to deep and lasting behavioral change. It brings together psychologists and psychiatrists graduated from the school of Palo Alto, "problem clearers": incivility, burnout, resistance to change, harassment... "We solve problems in the context of work at three interdependent levels: relation to oneself, to others and to the work environment/company organization, says Grégoire Vitry, CEO of Lact. For example, two people will eventually learn to work together and like each other. And it is not because the problem is deep that it should take a long time to solve it. » ■ CC

Article incivility