We all face a time when giving up seems like the only option. But this is not the case. How can fear of failure lead to capitulation? What are the consequences of fear of failure on mental health?
Effective communication is essential to achieve good results. Being strategic helps.
The fear of surrender
A general's greatest fear on the battlefield is surrendering, as this leaves scars long after the victims of war have healed. Surrendering makes us victims of ourselves, others, or the world at large. Abandoning a business proposal, giving up on a research project because it's not growing fast enough, or stopping a new fitness regimen because you don't think you're capable enough to complete it can leave a scar and make us victims. A sentence from a management book from the 1980s stuck in my head: How come every time someone stabs me in the back, my fingerprints end up on the knife?
Not having confidence in yourself and your abilities is one thing, but fully confirming it by giving up is another. The modern era of social media and comparison culture only exacerbates this problem. Many of our patients doubt themselves, fall into this mental trap and even spend hours online looking at the perfections of others, before starting to doubt their own abilities and concluding by abandoning the idea or event they had proposed. This refusal to put doubts aside, work hard and overcome difficulties is also a consequence of our defeatist thinking and even the result of an overprotective society.
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Scars of rejection, scars of failure
Giving up at critical stages of the process has the effect of confirming the individual's greatest fears. If he feels incapable and doubts himself to the point of giving up, he creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. His greatest fear becomes real, not because it was inevitable, but because it was brought to life by his own behavior. The prophecy of the event leads to the event of the prophecy.
We may also experience rejection for a job or movie role, or rejection by a girlfriend or boyfriend, leading us to "lick our wounds" and get back on track. question. It can also obsess and cause us to act as if it were true, to make it true, which often leads to very complicated forms of depression and anxiety. There is no need to be a fearless risk-taker or naive entrepreneur, nor is there any point in arrogantly self-deceiving, as these behaviors will only lead to the same painful outcome as abandonment. Few things worth doing are done without pain and we should accept this reality. However, as Albert Einstein said, “life is a process of constant, ongoing problem solving.” There is no harm in saying that it is good for a child to have "a little hunger in his heart, a little dirt under his fingernails, and a little problem to solve every day."
Overcoming the abandonment trap
Rather than giving up and resigning yourself, you have to wait and see if there are other possible solutions. For example, are you afraid of failure? Do you think you are not capable? Do you doubt your own resources? Have you taken on too much responsibility and expected too much of yourself? Have you thought about asking for a little help or support?
Tips for overcoming fear:
- Try asking for help.
- Try to take a break.
- Test and see how far you can take the project.
- Make yourself fear giving up out of conviction, rather than thinking your situation is insurmountable.
- Break the problem into as many small parts as possible and work slowly from the smallest to the largest.
Reference
Gibson, P (2022). Escape the anxiety trap. Strategic Science Books.
Read also:
- Systemic certification training: identifying resistance to change
- Training in the strategic systemic approach: the analysis of the functioning of the problem
- The link as a tool for change by Isabelle GROMETTO
- GENERAL - Dealing with resistance to change
- Case study: Managing change-related conflicts - by Claude de Scorraille, psychologist
